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Saturday, June 28, 2014

Move over Betty Crocker...here comes Bettie Rocker.

So I've been experimenting with a cookie recipe that involves rum.  I made the recipe that I found on the interwebs, but I didn't care for it.  It was too flour-y. Felt like I was eating a biscuit, not a cookie.  So I decided that I was going to play with it and make it more of a cookie-cookie.  So last night about 8:30pm I figured was the best time to make them.  *laughs*
So I'm in the kitchen making up my dough. I taste it to see how "rummy" it is.  I put a little on a spoon and walk it to the back of the house where the mister is "working" in his office.

Me: Taste this. Is that enough rum? Or do I need to add some more?
Mister: *gives me a skeptical look but tastes it* Needs more rum.
Me: You sure?
Mister: Yes.
So I walk back to the kitchen and throw another shot and some into the dough.
Me: OK, now what do you think? Give it a minute to hit your pallet before you decide.
Mister: *opens his mouth like a baby bird waiting for the spoon*
(this is where I was silently wishing I had google glasses)
Mister: I think thats good.  It tastes good.
Me: I can add more, but I don't want the rum to over power it.
Mister: yeah you're right I guess.
Me: I think the problem is that we don't have a taster here who isn't a shot of rum away from being a pirate them self.
(This is the part where I turned to walk out the door and go down the hall  and promptly walked right into a wall.  I think it was more from the glass of rum I was drinking while making cookie dough, then tasting the rum spiked cookie dough. Regardless,  cooking with rum is not for the weak.)

I've decided to add the cookie recipe for all you pirates at heart if you scroll to the bottom of this blog.
(and yes...this is a real sign that hangs in my kitchen.  ARRRRG! BOOTY!!)
 
Sailor Jerry Spiked Bacon & Chocolate Chip Cookies
 
Pre heat oven to 375 degrees.
Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1teaspoon baking soda
1teaspoon salt (if using real salty bacon and salted butter you might want to skip the 1t salt)
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
3/4c brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup dark chocolate or semi sweet chocolate chips
6 strips cooked bacon, crumbled
2 shots (3 1/2 tablespoons) Sailor Jerry Rum (you can add or take away depending on your taste)
 
In a bowl mix the flour, baking soda and salt together.
In mixer beat butter and sugar together.
Add eggs, one at a time.
Add rum.
Slowly add in flour mixture until everything is mixed well together.
For bigger chunks of bacon in your cookie, fold in the chocolate chips and baon with a spatula.  For smaller pieces of bacon, mix them in with the mixer.
Bake 7-10 minutes on a parchment lined baking sheet. (My army issued POS oven gave me super soft cookies at 8 mins. use your judgement due to how your oven heats)
Let cookies cool slightly before transferring to a cooling rack.
Keep in a tightly sealed container. Since they do have bacon in them, they should be eaten within 3-4 days just to stay on the safe side.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

On the road....

So my mister took a road trip cross country with the motorcycle.  He started to head back today and called me when he stopped along the way to let me know where he was at.

Mister: I'm in the hills of Virginia stopping for lunch.
Me: Isn't that where deliverance is?
Mister: Huh?
Me: You know, the corner of "bum fuck nowhere" and "You have a purty mouth"?
Mister: OH YEAH!  And its where all your "wrong turn" movies are too.
Me: Let me know where you stop next. Be careful, have a good lunch and keep those ass cheeks clenched tight.
Mister: uh...ok.  I don't plan to stop firing until I'm out of bullets.

A while later he sent me this photo to show me he was out of inbred banjo land.
If I had any photo shop skills I'd have put a inbred hillbilly peeking out of the trees.  *laughs*

Friday, June 13, 2014

Skipped a step

Mister walks into the living room where I'm checking my email.
Mister: what you doing?
Me: Nothing.  What'cha up to?
Mister: 6 foot.
Me: What?
Mister: 6 foot.
Me: THAT'S A GRANDPA JOKE!!!!
Mister: *smiles*
Me: We don't even have any children!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Right to the point....

Last night we were in the kitchen preparing dinner while I was telling him all about my visit to the gyno.  Which what guy doesn't want to hear about that?!?  But when you're a stay at home housewife and he wants to know how your day went, you work with what you got.  Anyways, I'm talking and I feel a "pinch" on my side and I rub at it which, in turn made it feel itchy.

Me: *scratching, I turn sideways lifting my shirt* Do I have anything there?
Mister: *looks* Yeah, a tattoo....

Cant get anything past this guy.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Monday, May 5, 2014

Just call me Devil Anse...

The following conversation took place last night before bed:

Me: I've been thinking of buying a new bedding set.
Him: What?
Me: Ya know, bedding.  A matching set.
Him: *blank stare*
Me: A BED IN A BAG!  YA KNOW A SET!! SHEETS, COMFORTER....THE WHOLE DEAL.
Him: oh... why?
Me: Bored with the same old black and red. Do you think we can do that with out starting world war III?
Him: What'cha mean?
Me: Well, right now we have two halves of different sets on there. This would be only one set of sheets we have to share.
Him: We do share now.
Me: No, we don't.  Right now we have a fitted sheet and 2 different comforters on there.  One because you like to wrap yourself up like a burrito and I sleep on a pile of pillows and half wrap myself in the blankets.
Him: *thinking*
Me: Its like the Hatfields & McCoys at bedtime.  Don't cross the property line Randolph!
Him: *shoots me a look*
Me: You're just mad because you're a McCoy in this fued.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Weighing in on the new diet...

So the Mister declared this house to be a "Paleo" house.  (Those who don't know what the Paleo diet is, its basically non-processed meat, veggies, fruit and some nuts. THATS IT! Boring... I dig my cheese, carbs and candy.) I've been half assing the diet when he's not around, but its not hard for me to get snarky around meal times. Especially when it comes to me not being able to eat what I'm actually craving. Like last night.  I took it out on his veggies.

In the kitchen. I'm eating a wedge of a granny smith while he roots around in the fridge to figure out what he's going to eat as a side to what we're grilling.
Me: So did you figure it out?
Him: *looking a little longer, like he's praying a beer flavored veggie appears in there* Yeah. *pulls out a cucumber*
Me: *casually looks over while still nibbling my apple slices* Are you sure you want to eat *that* one?!
Him: uh, yeah...*looks at cucumber and then me* WAIT! what did you do to it?!?!
Me: *grins* nuttin.....
Him: Christ....
This is where I start laughing so hard I have to put the apple down and he realizes that I'm only fucking with him.  Or at least he's praying I am.

Fast forward to the cucumber already cut up and in a bowl. He then proceeds to cut up an onion and tosses that in the bowl too along with a handful of cherry tomatoes.
Me:*looks in the bowl*
Him: *looking at me*
Me: Do you know what would go great with that salad?
Him: What?
Me: lettuce...
Him: *puts me in a half ass choke hold and smacks me on the ass*
(Those that don't know... he hates lettuce.  He calls it filler.  He always eliminates it from anything he's making. Like his BLTs are just BTs.  Tho' he doesn't want to look fussy in resturants and just deals with it.)

So now you know the story of how I almost didn't survive day 4 of the Paleo diet.